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Monday, September 14

More Future Ideas

It is typical of me to bring ideas to this forum and suggest that the reader be the one to carry those ideas out.  "I am a dreamer," I say, "and I give you the fruit of my dreams which bear the seeds of change within them.  Take the fruit, eat it, and then extract the seeds for planting.  When you have planted them, making sure to do so in the fertile soil of mankind's ambition, nurture them with the water of faith and determination.  Maybe add some monetary fertilizer, then wait and watch as the seeds grow into the flowers of Future."  That is usually how these things go.

Today, I have a different story to tell.  Today I bring you news of accomplishment; this time, the dreamer is the doer, and he asks no man to take the reigns of labor but himself.
It was only a week ago, on a cool morning, brisk with coolness, that I first felt the idea come into my brain.  As I sat in a chair, reclining and pondering what I should eat for breakfast, it suddenly vexed me to no end:  "What should I eat for breakfast?  What would fate have me choose?  How would nature steer the course to my repast?"  I wondered more deeply now, "What am I supposed to eat for breakfast?"

Each of our actions have reactions; causes have effects, and so forth.  So what was I to choose for my morning meal that would not adversely affect the outcome of my day or life, or throw off my cosmic balance?  I needed to know what the right choice was.  I needed to know the future, and it needed to be accurate.

But, I am also shy and secretive by nature, so I didn't want to talk to anyone directly about my plight.  I wanted answers to my questions on an impersonal and confidential level.

Thus, I designed a machine which taps into the spirit ether, where all knowledge past; present; and future can be found, and which links specifically with its future sections, giving mankind access to information that he will eventually know, but would prefer to know now.

Now, as you surely must know, I am not one to seek profit from my ideas.  I am in the business of promoting progression for all people.  Therefore, for the sake of ease and convenience, I have made my device compatible with the cellular phones that most of us already carry.  Simply use text messaging to send your Request for Future Information to this number 512-422-0890, and patiently await your response.  Be warned, though, that due to expectations of high volumes of incoming texts, it may take as long as a day to receive your answer.

Good luck in the future (not that you will need it anymore!)

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