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Monday, February 14

Snow parking in chicago can (really) suck it (now).

Dear Chicagoan,
It's a slippery slope to douchebag, but honestly, how long is it going to take for you to give back something that wasn't yours to take in the first place? Is there a time line for how long after a storm you can continue to "reserve" a public parking spot? Let's pretend, just for the sake of argument, that it was acceptable for you to throw paint buckets, 2x4s, lawn chairs, broken televisions, strollers, and whatever other garbage you had in your basement, into the street to stake your claim on a piece of public property. How long is it going to take for you to pull up your d-bag flag and let someone else park in front of your goddamn house? Odds are the reason your garbage is in a spot instead of your car is because you drove to work this morning in a different neighborhood, where you were forced to go in circles, because all of those assholes still want to make sure they don't have to walk more than ten steps from their car to their front door when the working day is done. It's a cycle of false entitlement and unnecessary frustration, and if it was just a bed you made for yourself to lay in, I wouldn't be complaining. However, in case you hadn't noticed, you're not the only person who lives in this city. The snow's melting, why don't you try letting that meaty thing that used to beat in your chest do the same?

Also, if it isn't too much trouble, on the road back from complete prick to human being, could you please take your trash back into your home or dispose of it properly. Thank you.

From Another City With (Apparently) Less Assholes

1 comment:

  1. As told to me by a plumber just over the weekend - "It takes a trauma to get anything done in Chicago". Granted, he drove to my house with 2 other guys, had them do all of the work, while he sat in his truck...smoking cigs for over an hour. It was cold outside. He was extremely fat. I chose to believe the truck was his house, nah, his clothing....and stepping out of them wouldn't be appropriate.


Be nice!